A Specially Designed Path

I have a problem. I cannot drive over high rise bridges (I don’t do all that well in parking ramps either). It poses a bit of a problem if I want to travel off into unknown territory. To do so I have to know exactly what lies on the road ahead of me. If there is a bridge on the route I must have a partner to drive over the bridge, I must know exactly where the bridge is so I don’t get surprised and find one looming ahead of me with “don’t pull over signs” posted on the approach. (Yes, that has happened, and I did pull over, jumped out and ran around the car while my sister jumped behind the wheel as unhappy drivers behind us lined up waiting for us to get it together).

I was reminded this week of this problem and how I have learned to deal with it. The solution is obvious. Anytime I am taking a trip, I simply ask someone who has travelled that way, what are the best roads to take andexactly what to expect on the trip. Any bridges? Where?

Now, I’m richly blessed in this area. I have 2 brothers who have done a lot of driving and know how to get just about everywhere there is to go. Yahoo gives OK driving directions, but they just aren’t as good as my brothers are. You see, my brothers know me. They know what I cannot do and quickly tell me which roads to take and where I will have to switch drivers so I will not find any unexpected surprises.

My brother Jim, (when traveling to visit him) can give me such thorough details as to my route he’ll even tell me how many traffic lights to watch for, which lane to get into on highways, where toll booths are, best places to spend the night and good spots to eat. He knows the scenic routes, the spots that are worth pulling over and stopping to enjoy. He knows what lies on the road and he knows how to get me to my destination. My brother Royce can do the same thing. If I am going anywhere, the first thing I do is check in with the boys to help me plan my itinerary.

I was reminded in my payer time this week that my spiritual journey is a lot like this. My heavenly Father knows ME. He knows all my weak points, what things I am currently dealing with. He knows what I can handle; He knows what it takes to freak me out. He also knows the path I take. He’s been this way before. He, if I’m listening, will tell me what to avoid, what problems may lie ahead or will direct me in a different direction. Sometimes I wind up in precarious situations, but I have the assurance that He will get me out of them.

A couple years ago I had to pick my daughter up at the airport. I knew I had to park in the ramp and I knew this was going to be a problem. I figured God would bless me with a space on the lower level. I didn’t know as I headed into the parking ramp that I would be entering it from the “top” not the bottom. MY heart was pounding. Tears were forming. When a very quiet voice simply whispered to me, “we can do this”. I focused on just parking the car. I carefully wound around following the arrows, keeping my eye strictly on what was right in front of me, and before I knew it was quietly pulling into a parking space. Tears were running down my cheeks as I turned the motor off. I took big deep breaths, put my head back, slowly while I let my heart quit pounding, laughed out loud, then thanked the Lord. You see, I had just done something that for me was an impossibility.

The first thing I told my daughter after “Hi, glad you’re safe was”; “You will drive the car out of the ramp.” She knows me too, and smiled, “I’ll drive the car out of the ramp.”

I celebrate today this Father who knows me so well, He knows what I can do, and He knows my itinerary. He’s been this way before and talks me through all the pitfalls along the route, enjoys the scenic views and fun places with me, and celebrates with me in time of joy.

Job 23:10: "He knows the way that I take..."
Psalms 103:13 “He knows us inside and out, keeps in mind that we are made of mud.” and Psalms 16:11 “Now you’ve got my feet on the life path, … Ever since you took my hand, I’m on the right way.” (Message)

I Am Not a God Project

"What did you say?" I quizzed God when during my prayer time I heard Him distinctly say, "You are not my special project."

His words came in response to a patterned prayer I pray each day, asking God to help me become a better person. Well, that's a good prayer, right? So exactly why was God giving me a hard time, anyway?

He repeated to me. "Your life is not the object of my special Spriritual Improvement Program." I guess He wanted to make sure He had my attention and that I was hearing what He had to say.

"What!?!" I asked again, getting all scriptural on Him. "How about what YOU said, eh? That part about He who has begun a good work in you, etc. etc, etc..., eh, what about that? Are you saying you're quitting on me? Not getting pushy here, just think it bears asking."

"No" He replied patiently. "I am not quitting on you. Neither am I here this morning to prune your dead branches off. I am not here to shine you up into something beautiful. I am not here to beat up on you. I am NOT here to put you on my potter's wheel, destroy you and remake you into something else?"

"Wait those are all images right straight out of your word. So, excuse me," I questioned, "if I'm getting a little confused about this, please. If I am not your special spiritual improvement project then what exactly am I to you, anyway?"

"You," He said so very carefully, "are the object of my affection. You are the person in whom I delight. You are the one whose company I enjoy just because it is YOU talking to me. You see when I look at you, I see the person I am excited to be spending time with."

Tears are now rolling down my cheeks and I'm a little overwhelmed by what the Creator of Everything has just said to me. "Thank you" I utter under my breath, truly feeling blessed.

I take a deep breath. You see, I am a very stubborn woman, so I press on. "OK, Father. I appreciate your love. But... if I am ever to reflect your image, how is that going to happen if you don't beat me up a bit now and then and prune away the debris out of my life that keeps me from being like you? If you don't do that, who does?"

He smiled at me. "What I want you to see today, is what I see when I look at you. I don't see blemishes and imperfections. I see a woman whose heart is, in this moment reaching out to spend time with me. This makes me so very happy and I am just enjoying this time with you."

"Thank you. Thank you!" I mumble humbly. "That's good to hear, and it makes me feel good. I appreciate your love and I appreciate your delight in me. But, Father, forgive my doggedness. If I am not YOUR project, whose project am I, then? How am I ever to become all you want me to be?"

"You" He said, "are your very own special spiritual improvement project."

"What!!!" I exclaimed quite loudly. "I can't clean me up, really, I can't do this."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." He waited a moment. "You're right you can't. But when you honestly seek to see yourself through my eyes and ask for my help, you then choose how much you want pruned, cut away and remade. You see each step of this process is done only when you choose to make changes. You control everything by the choices you make."

"Wow!" I take a deep breath then exhale it slowly, "wheh! That's pretty heavy stuff, you know."

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."

"That means, I am responsible for my walk with you. I am responsible for How much of you I reflect in my life, I AM responsible for whether or not I am to become like you. My Christian walk, my Christian maturity... that's all up to me and whether or not I choose to listen to your voice, be obedient to you and walk according to your Word!"

"Yep" you got it." He smiled at me.

"But Father, I don't know if I can handle this. I rather liked the idea that I place everything in your hands and you just fix me up the best you can. Now you're telling me that if I am to be fixed up, ultimately, it's all up to me."

"That's right." He continued, "and I know you are ready to hear this. I see you growing as we spend this time together. And I am right here to help you, always, every bit of the way."

"Thanks." and I finally really smiled, " thanks... I appreciate your love and you taking the time to have this little chat with me. So, now please today, help me be obedient to your voice and help me choose each moment to reflect your love and beauty to a world that is hurting. I choose to be like you. Help me be faithful to this choice I am making right now and help me always be faithful to you."

"I love you, unconditionally" My Father said, "No matter where you are in this little ongoing process we have. I love you just the way you are, I accept you, just the way you are."

He then smiled at me again and laughingly said, "Now, hasn't this been fun?"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" I said, "always a joy to hang out with you, Big Guy, and thanks. I love you too."