All Creatures Great and Small

Sweet Pea, our dog, is a treasure. This summer, with Jamelah in Ann Arbor for school and me home dog sitting, she has been more of a challenge. But we have managed.

She has always loved water. She is great fun if you have a hose and she loves, loves, loves having you throw snowballs at her and trying to catch them in her mouth. We think that from all these water games, she got a yeast infection in her ears. It was nasty. We had to clean her hears and put medicine in them. It took both of us working together to get the job done. She just wasn't happy with having us dig around in her ears. We did learn that cotton balls worked much better than Q-tips, but that wasn't until after a few times of unnecessary struggle.

We stopped playing water games. I guess we should have just gone and bought her a swim cap, but good luck trying to get that on her head, let alone over her ears. She is resistant to all Jamelah's attemps to "dress her up" in ridiculous getups just for 'photo ops'.

Despite our efforts she still has trouble with her ears every once in a while. We can tell because she will start shaking her head like she is trying very hard to dislodge something inside of it. It's a concern because we know she is uncomfortable. We are quickly allerted to her problem by the head shaking because it is also very noisy due to the tags attached to the collar around her neck.

Recently she would, from time to time, have a good head shaking time although not enough to concern us. The other night I was awakened either from a bathroom urge or the sound of Sweet Pea shaking her head repeatedly. I went to check on her after taking care of the bathroom business. She was standing in her crate shaking her head again and again. I opened the door to let her out and see if her ear was just stuck (it does sometimes) and she was trying to get the wrinkle out of it.

I gently patted her head, while making sure her ears were properly aligned. No problem there. She was shaking her head again, almost violently. Between shakes she would give me this woeful "help me" look. I decided maybe she just needed to sleep the rest of the night on the couch and said "Couch", but she turned and walked into the living room, turned stood in the door, shook her head some more and turned that baleful look full force on me.

I didn't know what to do to help her. There was just me and it usually took two of us to work on her ears. But, since neither of us would be getting any sleep unless someone did something, I decided to give it a go on my own. I got the cotton balls, sat down in the chair at the desk and called her over to me. She came right over, looked straight up at me and waited for me to help her. This was a surprise. But I did my best, I went in and dried her ears the best I could and waited to see if that would help. She had stood quietly all during the time I worked on her ears. This was a first.

It helped, but she was still having problems. I knew that I had done all that I could do, so put her back in her crate and hoped she would be able to get some sleep... that I would get some sleep too. It was now 4am. I crawled back in bed and listened. Every few minutes she would shake her head again.

I was completely at a loss and then realized I could pray for her. So I asked God to send an angel and help our Sweet Pea. Of course I got one of those "what, are you, crazy? God is NOT going to bother to help that dog!" But I remembered that song... "All creatures Great and Small" although I couldn't remember all the words I sang quietly, knowing that God sees the sparrow fall and knows so He would care about our Sweet Pea.

She made a low growly noise then quiet whimpers... then the head shaking stopped, and then, all was quiet. She had been ministered to. Two days later and she is still not shaking her head, but does scratch it with her foot which makes me think she is still having some problem there. We will check it out carefully this weekend when Jamelah is home.

But, this I know, God did care for our Sweet Pea and He did send an angel to minister to her. Yep! He did. And that's all I've got to say about that.

In God's Hands

I talked briefly to a young man this morning who is struggling with decisions in his life. Things have gotten complicated and he said he had "put it in God's hands". Although he didn't share the particulars of his situation, I was still touched. I said a small prayer for him while going my way.

I had told him that he was at an age when he would be facing many decisions as his life unfolds and doors open and close and he will choose wisely because he has put these circumstances "in God's hands."

Speaking from experience, it isn't easy to put things in God's hands and it is even harder to leave them there. We seek God guidance but when He guides, if we don't like the direction we aim for a new approach and doublecheck with God to make sure He knows what He's doing.

I find it takes a lot of courage to trust God with out lives even though we have been doing it for years. As my daughter's life recently took a different turn we knew God was directing her. Still we don't know how her needs will be met or what doors will open and I still find myself praying that she will make wise choices. I realize that this time and these decisions are going to determine the path her life takes. They are very important. I have put her in God's hands.

As we have dealt with my Mom's physical difficulties this past year, I have put her in His hands again and again. For a woman who is turning 93, she has had little health problems, yet in the last 12 months we have seen her in the hospital for long stays on 3 separage occasions. Now she is in a nursing home getting physical therapy after gall bladder surgery. At her age, her weakened condition requires that she take time regaining her strength. We expect she will be home sometime next week, but it was hard to take her to a place where we determined we would never have to go. But we did. I have felt peace each step that God was in it; that she was in His hands, but sometimes it is still difficult to find Mom in a "home".

I think of the young man just starting out putting his life and it's plans in God's hands, of my daughter as she searches for new direction looking to God, of me now in my 60s looking Godward for peace in my life and finances, of my mother in her 90s still needing the assurance that her life is being directed by God. This is the thing, our experiences teach us that God is always there, but as we grow and learn to lean more securely in His care, we never outgrow the need to just reach up and say, "Father, pick me up. I need you. Take me in your hands and shelter and direct me." There is no better place to be than in God's hands.

Become What You Believe

Mt. 9:27 - 31 (The Message Bible) As Jesus left the house, he was followed by two blind men crying out, "Mercy, Son of David! Mercy on us!" 28When Jesus got home, the blind men went in with him. Jesus said to them, "Do you really believe I can do this?" They said, "Why, yes, Master!"

29He touched their eyes and said, "Become what you believe." 30It happened. They saw. Then Jesus became very stern. "Don't let a soul know how this happened." 31But they were hardly out the door before they started blabbing it to everyone they met.

This was in my reading this morning and the words “become what you believe” hit me right in the face. I carried these words into my prayer time asking God to help me to “become what I believed” and I realized that is exactly what I am; what I believe myself to be, that is.

WHAM! I realized that I am not all I could be for God simply because I do not believe myself to be who He says I am in Him. I need to shift what I believe to line up with who God says I am.

Then my prayer shifted because I was saying what I really need is a renewed mind. A mind that will see me as God sees me and as He defines me in His word. If I see myself from His perspective then I will believe myself to be those things because by faith I can claim them. In believing them, I shall become them.

As I become … I will finally be what God has chosen me to be: a daughter to my heavenly father, a woman of faith, an overcomer, a soldier of the cross, a soul winner, a teacher, a helper, a healer, a woman filled with promise, a joy filled soul, a woman at peace.

I don’t want to miss out here, see. I want to believe all these things, but I still see myself as the gal struggling to make ends meet, walking a little lopsided through my days and hoping that in the end all will come out right. I’m living on the wrong side of the promise. Today I choose to believe what God says about me. Today I choose to become what I believe and I choose to believe myself to be the child of promise defined in the Word.

I can’t do this in myself, mind you. I can do this only with His help as He renews my mind. A new mind, a new picture of me, a new me as I believe and beome the better me I can be through Him.

Good Things: Part Deux

Well, when I blogged about my experience yesterday I mentioned that I went to work with a plan to fix things. As it turned out I didn’t have the opportunity to put any of my plan into action because events began occurring almost immediately upon my arrival. I felt I had to give props to the good Lord for working things out so neatly so this morning in my devotions I again thanked him for resolving my issues so nicely.

“uh-hmmmmm” He said.

“I was really ready with a plan,” I told Him, “but thanks to you, I didn’t have to jump in feet first and try to fix anything. That was really cool. Thanks.”

“hmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes” He said.

“Oh, dear. I was really going to muck things up, wasn’t I?”

“Uh-huh” He smiled.

“Well, anyway, thanks for heading me off at the pass before I got any of MY plan put into action. I really didn’t need to learn that lesson again. That was good of you to help out and overlook my impatience.”

“You’re welcome”

“And I don’t know exactly how this was all blending in together, except well, it all seemed to work out nicely. It’s good to be reminded that you love me and are interested in even the small events in my life.”

“Anne, you’ve never had a problem turning over your small things to me” my Heavenly Father reminded me. “When are you going to learn to trust me with the Big things in your life?”

“Uh, Well, don’t I?”

“You have this tendency to jump in and try to fix everything yourself, hmmmm?”.

“Yeah, but I’m good at finding solutions to problems. Of course my solutions may not always be perfect, but at least I try.”

“Yes, you do, and it’s good to think things through, but you need to also take time to check in with me. I like being asked to assist in your life and I’m just waiting for an invitation from you to help you with solutions to your circumstances.”

“Yeah, I sort of know that. But sometimes I get so busy fixing things I just plain forget to let you be a part of things. Forgive me for being so sure I have the answers all the time. And please, lend a hand. You’re always welcome here in this life to help solve its problems. Even my big ones. Thanks for the reminder that all my life belongs to you not just a part. And thanks again for helping make yesterday turn into such a cool lesson. Oh, yes, and thanks. Just because. And by the way the knee didn't hurt so much today. Thanks for that, too. Actually, thanks for all you do... and thanks for taking part in my life today."

Together For Good

Do you ever claim a promise in the Bible as your promise for the day? Well, I've done this from time to time and found it to be something of hope I could hang a day on as it went from each event to the next.

Toward the end of last week things seemed to be taking a bit of downward spiral at work and I was feeling a tad bit frustrated by the "not working out so good" turn in the events in my life. Since I had begun this new job about 6 weeks ago events had been evolving smoothly and it’s really nice when that happens. But last week all that niceness seemed to evaporate into thin air and I was working hard at "keepin' sweet" and not saying a few words which might have fit well with the way I felt, but not so much with my surroundings (I'm a church secretary). Anyway, without going into great detail; the copy machine was not working, supplies I needed for the weekend had been guaranteed to arrive by Thursday and by the time I was left Friday afternoon they were not in sight, both printers had become deranged and my computer decided they no longer existed so therefore I couldn't print anything.

Friday, we had given the printer problem top priority among the issues that needed addressed and were trying, unsuccessfully, to get at least one back 'on line'. We were unable to find the install cds for either printer so decided to use our "dial-up" modem and download the drivers from the internet. (Yeah, whatever! Because desperate times call for desperate measures and the time had certainly become desperate.) Successfully we found one (one is better than none) of the drivers from a manufacturer’s list, clicked and began the download. It was going to take a while (italics are used to emphasize the time frame here) for the download to take place. We decided it was better than nothing and there would be no problem with just letting it continue to download at the end of the day. So I left work Friday afternoon with more than 50% of the file safely filling up space on my hard drive. I stuck a post-it note on my monitor just in case someone came along and wanted to use the computer they would know it was busy doing important work and whatever they wanted to use it for would have to wait. I left the church and decided to just try not to think about any of the problems until I HAD to again, which would be about "start time" Monday morning.

So along came Monday and I was curious about what I’d find once I got to work. I ate my breakfast, did my daily Bible reading and spent a few minutes in prayer. I thought it worth mentioning to the good Lord that when I had left work on Friday things were in a bit of a stew and, being a woman of faith, I also thought it worth mentioning that I did understand that all things worked together for good (Romans 8:28)and I was looking forward to seeing the mess resolved and order restored. Although I might not ever understand how these messed up circumstances would bring about good, I was still believing that somehow in the plan of things they would and that everthing would somehow get straightened out in the process. After all, God does have our best interests at heart, doesn’t he? Can I get an "amen" here?

I stopped at the post office and picked up the mail, then into the stop n' go for a jug of iced tea and headed to work. I knew it would be a quiet week since Pastor and his wife were off for a weeks rest. I headed into the office setting everything down then booted up the computer curious to see if the download had been successful. Of course it would be because "everything" was working together for my good, eh! Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that actually, maybe the download didn't work right. Because I couldn’t find it anywhere, no matter how thoroughly I “explored” all the files listed in my 'explorer'. But thankfully, my Windows had successfully been updated. wheeeeeeeeeee

I decided I'd tackle the printer issue later and tackle another problem. I pulled out my phone list and called the copy machine service tech guy, again, and found myself leaving another message on his machine since everyone at that company was too busy to take calls. Next I called the office supply store to find out what happened to my "guaranteed to arrive by Thursday" supplies. When I connected with our Business Rep on the phone I was informed that surely I was mistaken. She had a receiver signed by ME saying the supplies had been delivered on Friday. I assured her that I had not signed any receiver, that I did not have any supplies and I had no idea what she was talking about. Well she was all about getting with "her people" to see what the company policy was in this situation. In the meantime I should see if I could find out who had signed my name on the receiver and accepted the shipment and where they had put it. Silly me, I’m trying to figure out why anyone would sign MY name to a receiver and if they did where they hid the office supplies. OK, if they are at the church, all I have to do is find them, because this is all gonna work out to the good, RIGHT! I searched through all the church offices, into all the storage spaces and even the janitor’s closet. Still I couldn't find the gone missing office supplies.

Pastor called and, trying to keep a smile in my voice, I told him all was well. I said I was looking for solutions but could not find the downloaded file on my hard drive. He suggested I call our computer guru if I was unable to find a fix. In the meantime we had an old computer connected to a really, really slow printer and I could transfer files there and print what I just had to get done for the day. So,I called our computer guy and left him a message on his machine. I like talking to machines, don't you? By the end of the work day on Monday, the office machine service tech guy had still not returned my repeated calls, the office supply people were still certain I had signed and received 2 boxes of their supplies and was trying to scam them for some reason, the printer still was not working and I wasn't sure if the guru would be available to come in and fix things up. The good of it all seemed to entirely escape me. I went home feeling a bit like Scarlet O'Hara declaring I’d "think about it tomorrow."

My day, of course, didn't end just because I had finished work. I've been getting injections in my knee due to arthritis and wanting to delay knee replacement surgery as long as possible. There are 5 shots in the series, one a week. Honestly they are very painful to get, despite getting the knee frozen and a shot to numb the area.... yeah, they still hurt. Monday was my last shot. I didn't want to go. The day had not been too good so far and this wasn't something I wanted to experience when life was in a sucky phase. But off I went anyway. I sat on the examination table waiting for the doctor and decided I should just have a word with the "Big Guy" about how this “working together for good” day was going. My prayer wasn’t exactly this, but something like it anyway. "OK, here's the deal, Lord. You know how all this working together business has gone down today and now I figure I deserve a break. So just to make up for it, will you please direct this doctor's hand, will you please make this shot as painless as possible and will you please help this knee get better. I'll settle for all of this working together if you're so inclined. After all, according to the sermon in church yesterday, you know where I'm at and you will meet me there. So, here I sit. Have a go at it."

The doctor arrived with a little tray in hand, 2 needles and the solution to freeze my knee and went to work on me. Now this doctor and I have been doing some serious bonding over the last 5 weeks and so we chatted about books and stuff while she did her thing. When it was time to insert the final needle she asked "Here it comes, are you ready?"

"I'm ready," I said, really thinking "just do it and get it over with". I felt the needle pierce my knee, I felt the pressure, I stared at the ceiling and was about to proceed with the holding my breath phase and courting to a thousand bit when she announced that that was it. I looked down at the empty syringe, flabbergasted. It had been totally painless. I looked at her and grinned and said, “Well 4 weeks of practice and then on the last shot you finally got it right.” She just laughed. I told her I was a believer in prayer and had done some serious asking God to make this last shot easy. She said she had been praying the same way. Well, there you have it... 2 agree on anything and it is a done deal. She and I should have been putting our prayers together a few weeks earlier. I walked out of the doctor's office without limping, crawled into my car and headed home. I figured that I might not have the answers to how God works things out but I was sure that He did care about the bits and pieces of my life.

This morning I arrived at work with an agenda to get everything FIXED. I had a plan. 5 minutes after getting there the delivery man walked into my office, bringing the 2 boxes of office supplies which supposedly had been delivered Friday. A few minutes later the phone rang and my copy machine service tech apologized for not returning my call. He had been on vacation and today was his first day back at work. He had a busy schedule but he'd be by today to take care of my copy machine. And our computer guru came in and before he left had both printers ‘on line’ and working again.

I guess I could end this with that old cliché, "alls well that ends well," but there's much more to it than that. There is the assurance that although we do not see God's hand at work in our circumstances He is still knitting together the events of our lives and bringing things completely together working them into a pattern that is ultimately for our good, yes, He does! Amen.

My Choice?

Yesterday and today our church is hosting a ministerial conference for workers of Calvary Ministries International (CMI) the ogranization with which our church is affiliated. Pastor issued an open invitation to everyone on Sunday to attend the evening sessions last night and tonight. The keynote speaker was Rev. Bill Johnson from Redding CA (iBethel.org)

I went. It was phenomenal. I knew, as he spoke, this is what the church is supposed to be doing. We really need to step up to the challenge, renew our minds, see things as possible - not improbable and begin seeing events with a view of the kingdom in action. His illustrations from his ministry as to how God is using laypeople to reach out and spread the healing power of God just totally blew me away. I felt this was the message God needed me to hear and that I needed to, indeed, get my mind renewed so I could see into the kingdom realm.

I can't wait for tonight. I tried to share with my daughter what I had witnessed and how I had been impacted but I found myself so emotionally invested it was hard to verbalize so much of what had happened.

I purchased 2 books Rev. Johnson has written and in reading a bit this morning I was hit with the concept that Satan must get our "co-operation". I had to just stop and say "WOW!" So, it isn't what God permits Satan to hurl at us, it is what we give Satan permission to do to us. We live with physical aches and pains, financial shortfalls, and stress... because we allow Satan the right to beat us up because we think we are to be tried and tested if we are to come forth as gold.

But what if... being tried and tested was something we had concocted in our minds. Is it really scriptural for us to suffer the things for which Christ came and died to secure for us; our health and peace of mind. Mind you, I'm not saying we will not have trials, I'm just saying that I think permit ourselves to be held down by situations which were not institigated by God for our good. That actually these "trials sent by God" orginated from a totally different source, and we sometimes suffer them when we should be taking authority OVER them. I'm feeling a bit foolish today. I want to keep this post as a moment to check back. I want the beginning of the "renewal of my mind" to have started. I do NOT want to be held back from achieving the potential God has ordained that I reach so that I can be a part of the faithful winning the kingdom.

It just almost seems to me like the enemy is doing pretty well in our time simply by holding down the believers with so many personal issues they cannot be about the Father's business. We need not give him our cooperation. We need to claim by faith what God has given us and "run" at the enemy as David ran at Goliath. We need to agressively be taking the kingdom by force.

Whooooeeeeeeee!!! and amen. So let it be.

Time for a LIttle Pruning?

It seems this year we have been faced with one negative event after another. These events seemed to effect our health and always come with a price tag when it's time to address the event in question.

I have visited the doctor's office this year and been tested and treated for more "conditions" than I have in the last 5 years combined. From the bronchitis which was diagnosed as severe asthma to sleep apnea to arthritis it seemed like there was always something I had to be checking into. I prayed, asked for prayers and always felt positive that God was on our side.

I know it is not unusual for a person to go through physical problems following retirement but I just didn't feel I fit into this scenario. After all, thanks to the City, I had rushed prematurely into retirement since their budget was stressed. I had negotiated with them a part-time position with a large cut in pay but would still allow me to make the full amount Social Security permitted and provide enough money in my budget to keep current bills paid.

Then this year hit and once again the City was strapped for resources to have enough money to meet their financial obligations for a year. So, they had to make cuts. Sweet little ole me, was now hanging out there with no contract and no bargaining incentive to keep me on staff. When the final cuts were made, despite the campaigning of my succesor, my position was cut 50%. Oooops! The amount they were able to budget for me will be gone in June. Then I will actually lose over 30% of my total monthly income.

Its true this has been of concern to me. I kept getting messages from the Lord that He had this situation under control and I was not to be concerned about my situation. I thought perhaps the City would magically come into money so they could fund the last 1/2 year of salary for me, but as of right now, doesn't look like that is going to happen.

Anyway, this morning in my quiet time I am reading John 15, one of Jesus final words to his followers before He was crucified. He speaks of Himself as the vine and his followers as the branches. Unfruitful branches, He explained, would be pruned away. I had to ask myself if all these events lately were the Father actively gardening on this branch (me) and pruning away the parts that are not fruitful. I couldn't help wondering if my place of employment was something I needed to lose, that even though I have always felt God placed me there to be his witness, that perhaps my time to be there is now over. And if so, then what's next for me?

Yesterday in church the Father quietly whispered to me that I was not to concern myself regarding health and financial issues, that He was working on my behalf. Which made it a little bit odd when my daughter and I left my mother's house, that she backed right into the side of an oncoming truck. Neither of us were seriously hurt, just knocked slightly out of whack, but the car -- messed up. Now what? I wondered. Then the Father reminded me He had whispered to me because He knew this was another negative event to conflict our lives. But He had said "don't worry!"

Then again this morning I find myself struggling with these assurances I keep getting. I have recenlty told my daughter that I felt we were under attack by the enemy whose job description is to "wear out the saints". As I had my morning chat today with my Father I asked why we kept getting hit with the suck bucket and things seemed to go from one negative event right on to the next one. I reminded Him that I believed Him, I really did, but with repeated attacks, lately it was getting a bit tiresome hanging on to a promise that seemed unfruitful.

Then He asked me what I really believed.

Well, I said. I believe the enemy can fight against me. But I also believe, like Job of old, that he can't do anything you don't permit Him to do. I believe he can hurl all kinds of evil my way, but I don't believe He can touch me to the point of destruction. I believe I should NOT give place to enemy, but rather acknowledge that YOU are the one actually in control and no matter what comes this way, no matter how negative or what happens , You can take what was meant as evil to me and turn it into GOOD! I believe this because it says so in the WORD and I've never known you to not make good on your promises.

So then here we are. Whatever pruning is needed, I'm here at your disposal. Whatever is needed to create in me your image, just have at it. If that means, which I have thought more than a distinct possibility, that I am to point my life in a direction I have not yet comprehended, then I am ready to go in that direction.

And I felt a smile headed my way with an assurance of "That's Good"!

And I think, I need to just be quiet and watch the hand of God go to work on our behalf. That's what I think.... right now!